Healthy boundaries are important in every relationship as they ensure respect among individuals and protect one's identity and well-being. A boundary determines what behaviours are acceptable or not acceptable for an individual. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, intellectual, sexual, emotional, or financial. Setting healthy boundaries helps individuals keep their space and peace without compromising their identity. Often in relationships, people forget their sense of self and become active or passive receivers of unacceptable behaviours and actions from their partners or any relationship. When you are consumed in a relationship and let people treat you a certain way, setting boundaries can feel challenging. Here are seven tips to start building better boundaries…

1. Be Assertive

Usually, when someone crosses a boundary, it is because that person was never directly told to begin with. Assertiveness is an important skill that can help individuals manage themselves, others, and their surroundings. Assertiveness can help you influence other people and gain acceptance or come to an agreement. An assertive person can express their opinion with confidence and optimism. People often confuse assertiveness with aggression. Being assertive means being self-assured and straightforward about your needs and wants while being considerate about the wants and needs of others. Being assertive also means communicating your message with firmness and empathy. On the other hand, aggression doesn't allow an individual to look beyond themselves and consider other people's needs, feelings, and desires. If you feel like your opinions are not valued or overlooked in certain situations, being assertive can help you stand out for yourself and communicate your message confidently.

2. Practice Self Awareness

The process of setting healthy boundaries starts with self-awareness. If you dislike how you feel or act around other people, it’s time to evaluate yourself. What is it about the other person that makes you feel or act a certain way? Acting only in a way to keep another person happy, is usually done at the expense of your own happiness. Once you identify the things that are creating discomfort, know that you can change them. Your actions solely depend on you, and you can control how you respond to any situation, why do we need to educate ourselves on The Importance of Emotional Intelligence. It all starts when you recognise that a certain situation or person is violating your boundaries and being able to say when that is while holding your ground. By determining your values and saying no to things that do not serve you, your journey of healthy boundaries will only grow from there onward.

3. Set Your Limits

As human beings, we all have limited time, individual priorities, and certain expectations. People who often fail to set healthy boundaries are the ones failing to set their limits. For example, in any relationship, two parties are meant to put in equal effort, and sometimes one partner takes on all burdens and burns out. This scenario happens when a partner or an individual fails to set their limits in any situation. Settling limits can also mean settling a boundary about what behaviours and actions are acceptable and to what extent. Setting limits can become tough in the beginning because we don't have official rules regarding relationships. But limits save you from manipulation, exploitative behaviours, and double standards. Set your limits to make your relationships stronger to avoid holding any resentment, disappointment, or anger.

4. Just Say No (without feeling the need to give a reason)

Saying no is one of the hardest things for many people, especially if the person in question is affiliated with you in a professional or personal capacity. However, boundaries do not need to be set with strangers; they are automatically there as social norms or laws. Saying no really affects our brains. The prefrontal cortex is the part of our brain responsible for objective and rational decision-making. This part of our brain processes information to get an outcome, and it is also where we hold certain beliefs about ourselves, our abilities, and the world around us. When we say no, our brain shifts how it reacts to certain situations, allowing us to make firm decisions for ourselves. When you choose to say no, you are prioritising yourself, which can lead to new and better opportunities which wouldn't have been possible otherwise.

5. Protect Your Space and Energy

No matter how long you have been dating or married, or however long you have been in the same job or around the same colleagues, you need your space. Respecting each other's personal space is key to healthy relationships. Sometimes we forget our needs and sense of self and pour all our energies toward the needs of our partners, friends, and work. In this arrangement, you are likely to become lost, drained and burnt out. Knowing how much time and energy you invest in any relationship is important. Setting boundaries to protect your space and energy is a determining factor in your level of self-respect and self-management. When you set boundaries and claim your personal space, you can effectively communicate and see others' points of view while respecting your own. You need individual activities to maintain your sanity; all activities cannot be dedicated to one person. When a partner, friend or colleague is stepping over your personal space, you need to be able to communicate your needs effectively and be mindful of the type of energy you allow into your space.

6. Determine Your Values

Your values and beliefs shape your personality and define you as a person. Determining your values means differentiating between what is and what is not acceptable for you in any relationship. Setting healthy boundaries helps you stick to your core values and allows the other person to be respectful of them. Core values in any relationship are the guiding principles that direct your actions and words. People with new romantic partners often get excited about sharing hobbies and interests. But as time passes, the element of compatibility becomes important. Interests and hobbies change as we mature in a relationship, but core values may be harder to change. At the beginning of a relationship, thus, it is important to establish and communicate core values. The lasting relationships are often the ones with strong foundations.

7. Recognise and honour others

Setting healthy boundaries is not only about recognising just your needs. Setting boundaries requires you to look for and respect others’ needs, feelings, space, and beliefs. If you have a difference of opinions or disagreements, you must communicate. When a partner, friend or colleague shares their boundaries with you, you must learn to respect them and not exceed their limits. In any relationship, understanding comes from recognising and respecting your individuality.

Boundaries are just a fancy term for “standing up for yourself.” What will you accept? And what will you not accept? These questions are based on your core values and what is most important to you. Become crystal clear on what you are willing to allow and be able to effectively communicate that first with yourself, before being able to communicate that with another.

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